boundbydevotion | [SABRA] Ramblings and lists

What Link is assuming happened, post-winning
--Mirror is full of lies. Although she expressed distaste for Flowers, Link doesn't think it was genuine and believes that they were working together and putting on a show, because of all the hidden conditions that came up.
--Maiming was the main criteria for winning. He's assuming this because it actually doesn't occur to him that Del could get more votes than Pavo, farther supported by the fact that Pavo didn't die. That they tied hasn't occurred to him yet.

FEELINGS
--Link is really not ready to ask how other teams came to their conclusions for how to vote because he kind of doesn't want to know how many teams didn't even contemplate working with other teams to beat the game, which he suspects is a lot. He was really adamant about it during the game though, because it was possible to break stage 1 of the game, and knowing that, he couldn't really see voting differently as "right".
sidenote: that he thought to try for a method where everyone could win is kind of interesting to me, because even though at the time he wasn't thinking of Messenger, it's kind of something Messenger implied they should do (breaking games/not playing by the rules).

--The thing he feels bad about in stage 1 was that because he'd established to himself that there was a "right" way to think about the game, he was automatically condemning voting for personal reasons as "wrong". He hates that he isn't able to be supportive of his teammates in a situation where his support is important. It's sort of a "WHAT KIND OF PARENT AM I" type of feeling for being mad at his kids. He doesn't want anyone to feel like he's blaming them (except maybe Tyler 'cause clearly Tyler doesn't even care XD) but he couldn't stop that reaction of "there is a right answer here!"

--He simultaneously never wants to make his team sacrifice themselves if it's something they don't want/can't deal with, but also believes his team is strong enough to handle it, and why not them rather than someone/someteam else who doesn't get to volunteer. This is the source of his resentment and he... doesn't really like it, because it's not a supportive position, it's a judgmental one that he wants to avoid projecting. Still, it's the belief that his teammates are strong and good people that makes this ideal seem just within reach, so...

--...He is having a hard time resolving that feeling of resentment when the ideal can't be met, especially after Elevators and then Flowers/Mirror, because he's not sure how to get rid of that resentment productively. He feels really low for not thinking the best of his team since it's a feeling that's in conflict with his desire to accept his teammates as they are. He doesn't want the idea that they can improve and be better people to be attached to the idea that if they don't then they're bad.

--RANDOMLY, maybe it's just him, but Link hasn't learned a fear of penalties for real yet... He's seen what it's done to a lot of people, including Allen, but he... can't see it happening to himself in a way that'd break him. Possibly his imagination is not creative enough to picture it. And though of course it would also super suck if penalties fell on his team, he's sorta subconsciously pre-conditioned to... let other people's trauma roll off him... because living with and following around Allen Walker and just being in Dgrayland...kind of does that to a person... Not to say he doesn't care about their pain! His teammates are his important people, of course he cares! It's just that subconsciously the impact isn't what it could be, yet.

--Threw Cobra under a bus again. This is developing into a bad habit. In hindsight this was even more terrible because of course other people would pick him. Link's list really went more like 1) maim no one, 2) maim Link (not an option, but he thought it), 3) maim Kanda, 4) maim Cobra, but Raymond chose Cobra on a grudge and then we ran out of time.

--Allen appearing was pretty terrible, but not the most terrible. He honestly feels more unable to face him because of the Cobra thing, but he can't even make himself hide from Allen because he's pretty much trained himself not to push Allen away ever. He wanted to say something about it when he went to visit Allen the day after but Allen was busy with memory-trauma so Link went into his usual mode instead...

--As a result right now Link has a lot of stuff he isn't saying, or isn't sure how to say, and isn't sure who to say it to, so he's kind of blah and unhappy.

IDK MAN, ASK ME STUFF IF YOU WANT?

[SABRA] Ramblings and lists

no subject

no subject

no subject